|
|
This imaginatively entitled page will show some of our lyrics...
I will be adding songs to the list as time progresses.
10. Santa raped you!
This is a seasonal treat, writtern by Lee at christmas 2000. This piece of music contains lyrics
of a sexual nature. Please be offended. (F*ck you all)
Down the chimney
And up your ass!
That had to be
Your worst christmas!
SANTA RAPED YOU!
HAHAHA!
SANTA RAPED YOU!
HAHA LOSER!
He's a fat cow
who wears red
now he's tired
from givin you head!
SANTA RAPED YOU!
HAHAHA!
SANTA RAPED YOU!
HAHA LOSER!
9. Georgie's song
Here's a song by Dave about a "cracking lass" by the name of Georgie.
8. Goldfish are better than sharks because they can swim backwards
This song is about one of Lee's goldfish - a story if you will. It was recorded in the "new style",
and at a mere three seconds long it is our shortest song by a long stretch.
Little fish went exploring
little fish got stuck
little fish folded in half
and thats how he escaped
7. Frogs don't have any teeth
Sorry, I can't explain this one either
Frogs don't have any teeth
so how do they eat beef?
THEY DON'T!
YOU C**T! (x2)
Frogs don't have any lips
so how do they sip? *WINE!*
THEY DON'T!
YOU C**T! (x2)
Frogs don't have any knees
so how do they climb trees
SOME DO
F*CK YOU! (x2)
Frogs don't have any eyes
so how do they catch flies?
WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
YOU C**T
SHUT UP!
end
6. Russians never go blind because they wear so many hats
I don't really know what this song is about even though I wrote it. It is unusual.
Russians never go blind because they wear so many hats
Russians never go blind even though they look like tw*ts
Russians never go blind even though they masturbate
Russinas never go blind because hats control their fate
Dave: SO MANY HATS!
Chris: To chose from! (x3)
Lee: Well?
Chris: Lots of 'em
They cover their heads
it saves their eyes
they never go blind
I don't know why
Russians never go blind because they wear so many hats
Russians never go blind even though they look like tw*ts
Russians never go blind even though they masturbate
Russinas never go blind because hats control their fate
5. Osmotic shot
This song was writtern by Lee, and it's about a doomed single celled organism which has been
dropped into a hypotonic solution (a solution which is less concentrated than the contents of the cell)
and is going to burst because of the uncontrolled influx of water accross the cell membrane.
So spare a thought for all the cells that have been lysed in the name of science. Please.
It's a cytoplasmic crisis
we're gonna end up with cell lysis
this is the tale of an amoeba cursed
any second now it's going to burst
WITH ALL THE STRENGTH THAT IT HAS GOT IT'S SAVIN' UP FOR AN OSMOTIC SHOT!
A hypotonic solution is to blame
along of course with the cell membrane
and just to add to the confusion
the real enemy is called diffusion
WITH ALL THE STRENGTH THAT IT HAS GOT IT'S SAVIN' UP FOR AN OSMOTIC SHOT!
With pure water all around it
this amoebas's now in deep shit
water goes in and will not stop
very soon the cell will pop
WITH ALL THE STRENGTH THAT IT HAS GOT IT'S SAVIN' UP FOR AN OSMOTIC SHOT!
Dynamic equilibrium is required
phospholipid bonds are getting tired
the situation ain't hydrostatic
semi-permeability can be a bad tactic
WITH ALL THE STRENGTH THAT IT HAS GOT IT'S SAVIN' UP FOR AN OSMOTIC SHOT!
H2O is packed inside
with stuff like sodium chloride
the pressure's got too much to bear
now it's ripping the lipid bilayer
WITH ALL THE STRENGTH THAT IT HAS GOT IT'S SAVIN' UP FOR AN OSMOTIC SHOT!
end
4. On the offensive
Unfortunately Chris doesn't do a lot of lyric writing, but this is a song he did write which is truely
excellent and sums up FAT diesel to a tee. What more can I say?
We don't care what you think of us
'cause you're all,
f*cking c*nts
you've no right to judge us,
so DON'T YOU F*CKING DARE!
WE'RE ON THE OFFENSIVE!
F*CK YOU ALL x 3
so eat my m*inge
NOW!
3. Indie music is shite
A classic song writtern by Dave long ago, and it's pretty self explanatory really.
I hate Oasis
and I hate the Verve
all depressing shit
but Ocean Colour Scene is the worst
I wish that they would all just f*ck off and die
I hate indie music it's a bag of shite
so f*ck off indie music you w*nk
I wish i could kill you with a tank
you just suck my cock all day
becauase you are so f*cking gay
2. Drinking tea
This song was co-writtern by Lee and Dave over the internet in March 2001. Again, it is
quite self explanatory...
They pull leaves off a tree,
and put them in a container,
and then you and me,
mess around with the tea strainer.
Within these cups we now behold,
a liquid worth its weight in gold,
I can't wait to gobble it down,
even though it's only brown,
STRAIGHT IN THE CUPS!
STRAIN THE CROP x?
1. The hitch-hiker
One of the best FAT diesel songs ever performed. It is about the worlds most rubbish car - the
Toyota RAV 4! It deserves all the slagging off we can give it!
If was a hitch-hiker stood at the side of the road,
and you pulled up in your RAV 4 I'd tell you where to go!
YOU CAN'T EVEN GET UP A KERB x3
YOUR CAR IS SHIT
If was a hitch-hiker stood at the side of the road,
and you pulled up in your RAV 4 I'd tell you where to go!
YOU CAN'T EVEN GET UP A KERB x2
YOU'RE GONNA GET WHAT YOU DESERVE!
I'm gonna set you on fire, shove you up your own arse and throw you in the f*cking bin you TW*T!